


It's My Turn

by jessejackreyes



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Coping, Day4 Loss, Day5 Scars/Disability, Day6 Domestic, Day7 Appreciation, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hanzo76week, Loss, M/M, Regrets, Self-Hatred, Some Fluff, but there, implied suicidal ideation, its brief and implied
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 07:15:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11375238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessejackreyes/pseuds/jessejackreyes
Summary: This is going to be a multichapter fic covering prompts 4-7 for Hanzo 76 week. A given chapter will not necessarily correlate to one of the themes, but rather the fic as a whole will be in some way about all of them.Hanzo returns for a mission three days earlier than expected. He wants to surprise Jack and spend some alone time with him, they've barely spoken in weeks. Things are not okay when he returns and it is up to him to keep the former strike commander from falling apart at the seams.





	It's My Turn

**Author's Note:**

> There is a brief implication of suicidal thoughts in chapter one. I wanted to give proper warning for it. It's not a focus of the story, but it is there.
> 
> This is late for Hanzo76 week, but I am going to finish this week out.
> 
> I wanted to write some Hanzo taking care of Jack for once and so here it is.

It was amazing how quickly Hanzo’s relatively good mood could vanish, replaced, this time, by dread. He had been elated, if a bit confused, when the cowboy had shown up and allowed him to leave three whole days before he was scheduled back. He had planned to show up early and surprise Jack with some time together. It had been weeks since they so much as talked. 

McCree had described him as giddy with excitement at the prospect, which was not strictly true. Hanzo did not do giddy, but he supposed that what the cowboy had meant was that this was as close to giddy as he could get, which was probably true. Only on very rare occasion would Hanzo find himself in a good mood like this, enough to smile softly, so he understood how noteworthy his soft smiling was often shocking to the people around him.

All of that good humor vanished when he could not find Jack anywhere. The man was not in his room, not in the firing range or the gym. Athena either could not or would not tell Hanzo where he was, though she assured him that he was not on a mission. Jack was hiding, from everyone, from him and that was always a very bad sign.

His worry only intensified as his dragons screamed at him to call them forth, to let them help. They might even be more worried than Hanzo was at the moment and they refused to wait around when they could be doing something. He let them help, he needed it after all and the moment they had their physical bodies again they flew off in different directions, searching the base for any sign of the man.

Hanzo, on the other hand, had someone he needed to talk to while they found the man. There was only one person around that Jack would ever open up to and spend time with and he needed to talk to her. Hopefully she would know what was going on and would be able to help Hanzo prepare for dealing with it. It was very easy to accidentally make Jack feel worse when trying to comfort him, he and Hanzo were very alike in that way. He found the old sniper easily enough, sipping tea in the mess.

“You're back early,” She noted aloud.

“Yes, McCree took over for me so I could return a few days ahead of schedule,” Hanzo informed her quickly.

“I see,” She replied pensively. “He's still such a sweetheart, real thoughtful,”

“I did not even ask him. He merely showed up and told me,” Ana nodded along knowingly. “I was going to argue, but I wanted to see Jack more than my idiot pride wanted to be difficult,”

“That's nice. I suppose if anyone could pull him out of his head right now it would probably be you,” She told him.

“Is that why McCree?” He did not need to finish the question to know the answer. Something was very wrong and he was brought here to try to fix it.

“His last mission did not go well,” She informed him somewhat cryptically. “We're all worried, but he won't let anyone near him right now,”

“He could not keep me away if he tried,” Ana smiled at the claim.

“He is a very stubborn man,”

“And I am a very stubborn dragon,” Hanzo replied simply.

“I have not seen him today and if he has his way it will remain like that,” Ana continued. Their conversation was interrupted by a frantic blue blur flying its way in between them.

“It appears that they have indeed found him,” Hanzo explained the relatively frantic state Tsume had busted into the room in. “He is in distress. I should go,”

“Wait,” Ana instructed him before he could leave. She walked over to the counter and pulled something out from under it. “Jesse got this for Jack, but never managed to give it to him. It might help,” She held out a bottle of scotch. “Don't tell him where you got it,” She instructed as he rushed off.

He followed Tsume as the dragon rapidly led him up the various buildings on base to Hanzo’s favorite spot, high up on the water tower. Hanzo smacked himself for not thinking about checking there in the first place. He saw the man up there leaning against the railing, staring off into the distance.

The ladder had been raised so that no one could get up there easily if they wanted to, but Hanzo had trained since birth to scale buildings. It was no trouble reaching the platform and swinging himself over the railing to land several feet away from Jack. The old soldier did not even turn to greet him, seemingly lost in the distance. Musabo was wrapped around the man's neck, nuzzling the side of his face, expression worried.

“Jack,” He called out softly, unsure if the man had even noticed his presence. Jack had a particularly impressive ability to get lost so far in his head that the outside world just sort of dropped away. It could take a lot to pull him back sometimes. “Jack,” He repeated, louder this time.

Hanzo wanted to reach out and grab him, to pull him close, to kiss him, anything to get his attention and show his affection. But, he knew better than to try something like that when Jack was like this. The super soldier reacted very poorly to being physically surprised and things would only get worse for him if he accidentally hurt Hanzo because he freaked out. So Hanzo called out to him softly and waited for as long as it took.

“Are you really here?” Jack asked finally, voice broken and weak.

“Of course I'm here,” Hanzo replied softly, cautiously inching forward. “How else would you be bothered by two little dragons that adore you?”

“You're supposed to be halfway across the globe. Thought I was just fooling myself that they were here,” 

In any other situation they would have been offended at the idea of them being just in his head, but right now they were too worried to care. They shared Hanzo’s mood, his distress, his fear. Hanzo continued to slowly inch forward, reaching a hand out and placing it on top of Jack’s left hand. Jack’s entire body tensed, his grip on the railing began to bend the metal, but he did not lash out.

“We are here Jack. We are right here,” Hanzo wanted so desperately to reach out and simply embrace him. He had never been much of a hugger, but he knew Jack was and that it might make him feel better now, but the tiniest touch had already wound him up so much. He needed to wait for Jack to be ready. All he could do was reassure Jack that he was not alone. “We are not going anywhere,”

“It's cold,” Jack announced eventually, body still tense. Hanzo had been too distracted to notice the temperature. It was rather chilly out and the sun was beginning to set which would only make it colder.

“It is,” Hanzo agreed simply.

“It's gonna rain,” Jack continued softly, barely above a whisper. Hanzo merely hummed in acknowledgment. “You'll get sick out here,”

“Maybe we should go inside,” The emphasis on ‘we’ did not go unnoticed.

“I'm fine here,” Jack replied softly.

“I don't mind the cold or the rain,” Hanzo replied back. Tsume took the opportunity to wrap himself around Hanzo, mirroring Musabo. The dragons were warmer and more effective than any scarf could be.

They stood silently against the railing on the water tower for a long time. No words were exchanged, though they were both comfortable with silence, so it did not bother them much. Even as Hanzo’s legs ached, he refused to leave Jack’s side. He had never seen the former commander so upset, so distant. Nothing on this planet could drag him away from Jack right now, not the approaching cold, nor the sky raining down on them. The man needed him, even if he would never admit it.

“We are quite high up,” Jack commented, breaking the long standing silence.

“It's why I like it up here,” Hanzo replied simply. “Above and away from everything else,”

“It would be quite the fall,” Jack commented casually. Hanzo’s hand tightened its grip around Jack’s at the man’s words and his body tensed.

“That is what the railing is for,” Hanzo tried to keep the conversation going, steering it away from the dangerous place Jack’s mind was dwelling in.

“Only stops accidents,” Jack’s voice was detached, emotionless as he spoke. Hanzo had no idea where he thought this was going to go, but it has veered far away from anywhere acceptable. Hanzo took a deep breath, centering himself before he said or did something impulsive that would only make things worse. The rain picked up as he tried to find the right thing to say.

“I am cold,” Was all he could settle on. For a moment it seemed like it had been the wrong thing to say. Jack’s entire body tensed and Hanzo braced himself to act. But, eventually, the tension faded somewhat and Jack sighed.

“We should head in before you get sick,” Hanzo nodded once he realized that Jack meant to come with him.

They lowered the ladder and Hanzo followed him down, silently refusing to leave the man up there alone, even for a second. Jack removed his jacket as Hanzo reached the ground, placing it around his shoulders and bundling the smaller man up against the rain and wind. They each wrapped an arm around the other as they walked towards the former commander’s quarters, holding each other close in an uncharacteristic display of physical affection.

Hanzo guided Jack the entire way, having to physically urge the man forward. Willing himself to climb down the ladder and give Hanzo his coat seemed to have taken a lot out of him. Jack responded to Hanzo though, following his lead as he urged the man forward gently. 

Jack’s room was strangely unkempt as they entered, another thing for Hanzo to worry about at a later date. First thing that they needed to do was to get out of their wet clothing. Hanzo disentangle himself from Jack and Tsume and made to undress neatly. Jack merely stood in place, staring off into the distance as best he could manage in the dimly lit confines of his room. 

“Let's take a shower,” Hanzo spoke softly awaiting a reply. He was not sure if Jack had even heard him. He reached out and took the man’s hand in his own and lightly tugged him towards the attached bathroom. Jack shook his head softly at the command. “I have not showered in almost a week Jack and you don't look much better,” he tried to keep his voice calm, non judgmental as he spoke.

There was a brief staring contest as Jack finally looked at him directly. He was afraid the old soldier might lash out, but instead he seemed to curl in on himself in defeat. Hanzo had never seen the man look so small. He shooed Musabo away from the man’s neck gently as he undressed him, Jack doing little besides moving as Hanzo directed him.

“Wait out here,” He instructed his dragons sternly. They were clearly upset at the idea, but they did not argue or cause trouble. They merely curled up together, nervous and worried.

Hanzo dragged him softly into a hot shower, letting the heat work to relax the tension in the man’s muscles. When that proved inadequate he joined the man under the water, hands working out each and every knot they found. He would have to thank Genji for forcing him to learn the art of massage when they were young. All of the annoyance and teasing was more than worth it in order to watch Jack’s body slowly relax under his ministrations.

He lost track of time while he worked. He had never dealt with this much stress and tension before, but Jack’s body proved receptive, if a bit stubborn. Soon Hanzo switched over from massaging his muscles to lathering up his hair, then washing his body. In any other context this might be erotic, but right now Jack needed him and sex was about the furthest thing from his mind.

The water had begun to cool by the time he finished cleaning the super soldier. He moved to turn off the water when Jack reached out to stop him. Hanzo did not resist as he was pulled away from the water and Jack took his turn to clean Hanzo from toe to tip. Jack stroked his fingers through Hanzo's hair as he lathered it up, continuing on with the gesture far longer than necessary.

He allowed Jack whatever he wanted, whatever he needed at the moment. The older man began washing his body slowly, exploring every inch of it and making sure Hanzo was thoroughly scrubbed. He returned his hands to the archer’s hair with Hanzo’s conditioner, chording his hands through it softly. The actions seemed to be soothing Jack, so there was no need to stop him.

Eventually the water grew frigid and Hanzo dragged a reluctant super soldier out of the shower and slowly dried the two of them off. It was more difficult to help the man dress than it was to undress him, but eventually they were both in clean, warm and wearing dry clothing. Hanzo always kept some spare clothes in Jack’s quarters in case he needed them at some point.

Two excited and worried spirit guardians practically mauled Jack the moment he was properly dressed, wrapped around him, concerned and offering all the comfort they could. Jack scratched under their chins absentmindedly, pulling soft purrs from the creatures while Hanzo led him to the couch they often shared. He sat Jack down in his normal spot.

“When was the last time you ate?” Jack merely shrugged noncommittally. “Okay, I am going to make you something to eat,” A hand grasped his arm as he turned away and held him back, keeping him from moving away.

“I’m not going far, just to the kitchenette,” Hanzo told him gently. “Tsume and Musabo will stay right here with you,” He smiled reassuringly, waiting for Jack to let go, while two affectionate dragons nuzzles his face.

“Okay,” Jack finally replied, slowly releasing the grip on Hanzo’s arm.

“Would you like anything in particular?” Hanzo asked as he walked the short distance to the kitchen in the former strike commander’s quarters. He received a noncommittal noise in response. So, Hanzo took a look through what was available to find something instead. “How about French toast?” Hanzo asked, finally settling on something he knew the super soldier liked.

“ ‘s fine,” Jack called back weakly.

“Okay. Tsume, grab Jack the remote so he can put on something to watch!” He called back as he set to work as quickly as he could. His mood lightened when he heard the soft murmur of something playing on the vid screen in the other room. 

Hanzo knew exactly the way Jack preferred his French toast. Just the right amount of vanilla and cinnamon, everything precise and cooked to perfection. Followed, of course, with an obscene amount of powdered sugar. Hanzo always gave him shit for how much he overdid the sweetness, but right now Jack probably needed the calories. It was very bad for him to not eat with his ridiculous metabolism.

He did not bother to clean up as he finished preparing the simple, yet large meal. He would deal with that later, as well as the rest of the mess in here. Right now he needed to be focused on things of more immediate use, like making sure Jack is fed and supported right now.

Jack’s posture was rigid when Hanzo returned to the couch, much to his dragon’s dismay. The man only appeared to be watching what was on the screen, but Hanzo recognized that face meant that in reality he was far away in his own head. 

“Dinner is served,” Hanzo announced, holding a plateful of food in front of him. He frowned momentarily at his own words. “I suppose it is more of a breakfast really…” It was silly how,distracted Hanzo was by the thought. A soft, barely there, laugh brought Hanzo back to the present. Jack smiled as he took the proffered plate, a barely there, fragile thing, but definitely a smile.

Jack was much more physically affectionate than the archer was, but he respected Hanzo’s discomfort and never pushed him hard for it. It helped that Tsume and Musabo were very comfortable showing the man their affection on Hanzo’s behalf. But when Hanzo joined Jack on the couch it was with a lack of the normal distance between the two of them. He leaned into the larger man, cuddling into his side while he slowly picked at his food.

The gesture clearly surprised the older man, but it was also clearly not unwelcome. Jack slowly relaxed into the couch, Hanzo gently leaning into his side. Hanzo distracted himself listening to Jack’s heartbeat and watching whatever screwball comedy that had ended up on the screen in front of them. It was not one of Jack’s movies that Hanzo recognized.

It was a pleasant enough distraction from the situation. Laughing had seemed inappropriate at the moment, but the movie proved to be moderately funny and Hanzo could not hold back a chuckle every now and again. Every small bit of mirth he showed seemed to help Jack relax instead of causing a problem like he had feared it would. 

With the silent encouragement, soon Hanzo was laughing softly instead of simply chuckling. Jack slowly made his way through his French toast as he relaxed, leaning softly into Hanzo. Getting either of them to sleep on a bad day was difficult to say the least, but Jack was clearly exhausted. Who knew how long it had been since he had actually slept. So, surprisingly, somewhere in the midst of the movie and food and cuddling with three separate dragons, Jack began to doze away softly.

Hanzo was torn between his desire to actively do something, cleaning up the mess around him, turning off the screen, etc, and to let Jack sleep. Getting up might lead to accidentally waking him up and who knew if they would be able to get him back to sleep. So, he swallowed down the impulses to work, to clean and he settled into Jack’s side for the night. The super soldier was surprisingly comfortable and warm, enough for Hanzo to find sleep not too long afterwards.


End file.
